What
couples now a days struggle with the most in their relationship, and sometimes
end up breaking up is the lack of communication. Communication is very
important in relationship, and all aspects of life. In order to have a good
communication between two people, there have to be a level of trust. In order
for trust to develop a relationship must have a chance of surviving. You must
be able to predict how our partner will behave at all times. It is very hard in
most relationships for couples to sit down and talk about their feelings, and
how the relationship is going. Men and Women tend to communicate differently.
Most women are all about talking about their feelings and getting all sentimental;
however men just don’t want to get to get all emotional when talking to their friends
because it makes them seem weak.
My first and longest relationship, my
boyfriend and I found it very difficult to communicate, especially after long
heated arguments. I always thought if we forget about whatever we argued about
and not talk about it; we were good. Not knowing that mentality will hurt my
relationship with my first love. For instance, his friend/roommate accused me
of kissing him when I came over to the apartment when my boyfriend wasn’t
there. When the accusation came out at first, I thought it was a joke, so I
ignored every conversation about it.
Later, it became a big problem, but I refused
to defend myself. I assumed he knew me better than that; so I told him to “think
whatever he wanted, and that I don’t need to explain myself." Not knowing
that ignoring the situation and each other was making him believe his friend
more than me. And whenever we attempt to talk about it, I end up getting mad
and hanging up. He tried so many times to reach out to me, so I can explain my
part, but it’s either I wouldn’t listen to him or was just mad. So we ended broking
up. If I was just calm and not let my pride get the best o me, and talked about
it; we would still be together now. However, I was stubborn and didn’t want to
listen to him or explain myself.
Men
and women tend to communicate differently. Women are more likely to talk to
other women when they have a problem or needs to make a decision. Most men keep their problems to themselves
and don’t see the point in sharing personal issues. Women talks in “rapport”
talk, want to talk about their feeling talk and have a relationship talk, and think
about how it will affect other people. Men speak in “report” talk; they want to
talk about the facts and move on with their lives. When a man and woman get
into an argument, the women want the rapport from the man. If women have a
disagreement with each other, it affects all aspects of their relationship, and
even ends some friendship. Some men can have a disagreement but then move on to
another subject and go get a drink together. Men do not show emotions to their
guy friends, because they think it’s a sign of weakness. In our society, men
are limited to how they can show their emotions because it is either you are
look down upon or made of fun. If men
are emotional society will say it’s a sign of weakness, but if women are too
emotional it a sign of weakness.
Even
though men and women tend to communicate differently or lack communication in
their relationship, we should all try to compromise to save our relationships
by listening to each other, even if we do not agree with the other person. I
have learned great lessons about communication from my relationships, and I am
still trying my best to be good at it. Communication is not only important in
relationships but all aspects of life, at work, school, and church without it our
world will be chaotic.
